Fri 19 Sep 2014
I am 99% atheist. I leave the 1% for the unexplained and there is plenty of that. When things get tough, I talk to the supreme beings. I just have different gods than most people. I realized today in the car, that I answer questions from songs out loud. I respond out loud. I guess I have always done that, but today I was thinking about how people pray or wish for things, and there I was talking out loud. To Willie Nelson. About 50 times a day, on a normal day, I say, “Save Me Willie Nelson!” under my breath. There is that 1%. I do believe someday Willie Nelson will save me. Maybe. He could call me. Maybe.
To me, it doesn’t matter that Willie Nelson is alive still. He is god, he represents all good and pure things in the world. His music is my heart, and makes me happy. He is my boyfriend, and he is always there. Absolute joy, is what Willie Nelson brings. I would ride in his little red wagon, any day!
Johnny Cash answers all the questions I have related to science, mathematics and logic. I actually ask him questions when I am confused, which is alot. I look up to the ceiling, take a deep breath and ask him. “Johnny, what in the fuck IS a halogen?” A whole column for halogens on the periodic table, Johnny! Johnny, how am I going to memorize all of the bones in the skeletal system, HOW?! Why can’t everyone have always used one system of measurements, why are Americans idiots? What the hell is a tetrameter anyway, Johnny? It really doesn’t matter what I ask Johnny Cash, because someone texted me this damn internet meme a few years back, and I only need to hear his name, and I see this face. I see this picture, the man in black, eating that cake, higher than a fucking kite. And then I just laugh. Because we are all going to die someday, and I will never have learned enough to make my time on earth worthwhile. There is too much to learn. Sometimes you just have to laugh, and Johnny Cash’s internet meme makes me laugh! If anything, Johnny Cash did know about pharmaceuticals. I am probably praying to him for the wrong thing.
And finally there is Waylon Jennings.I have always thought Waylon had the most bedroomy of bedroom eyes. Waylon is his own special god, who answers my eternal question, “What the fuck am I gonna do, Hoss?” Sometimes I don’t know what to make for dinner, sometimes I am mad at someone, sometimes I am lost, it doesn’t matter. Waylon answers me the same every time. He simply says, “Just shoot them in the fucking face!” I don’t know why he says that, but it makes me feel better, and I have never had to shoot anyone in the face. Actually, I haven’t shot anyone, anywhere. But if I did, it would be Waylon’s fault for giving me such bad advice. And it would be in the FACE!