Pungsnotded

Reality Television Confessions

December 12th, 2007

 

 

This one is going to cost me some friends, probably. At 9 o’clock, Tuesday night, on the  Bravo Channel is by far the most mind-numbing show. It is more mind-numbing than that Bad Girls show, even more than my favorite mind-numbingnest mind numbing show ever, The Girls Next Door. Nope, this show is full of women so stupid, they do not even realize that they ARE stupid.

THE HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY.

Women like this are the reason that Bush is in office. These are the people that are attending the hoity-toity political events, the ones who are in these high tax brackets, and they are still allowed to breed. And divorce. And then breed some more. All while getting Botox, and silicone boobs, and wearing skanky shirts that cost a thousand dollars, I guess they never walked into that RAVE store down at the mall. This world of people, has such little appeal to me, that I am actually uncomfortable at times, just watching them.

The “fourth wall”, if such a thing exists with television, is broken, and I am anxious and sweaty thinking that I may actually ever have to CONVERSE with one of these women, watching them try and frown and show emotion, and squirt a tear out of their perfectly formed tear duct, while their giant collagen lips, pucker and quiver and I am tempted to take a safety pin out of my clothes and jab it in there, just to relieve the lip-pressure, that may be the actual reason that they are crying in the first place.

It is a train wreck, it is so stupid, it is my drug of choice lately. It leaves me with important life questions, like “Can you be a housewife, if you are not even married?” and “Can you be a housewife if you work?” And how are all these people going to look when they do finally get old, after injecting all that stuff into their faces? I’ll take some stretched out tattoos over paralyzed facial expressions, anyday.

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