Pungsnotded

Dr. Bronner’s, Suicide McQueen, and a Cooking Advice

June 11th, 2010

Dr. Bronners:

I love this stuff. You can brush your teeth with it, you can mop the floor with it. There is no reason to buy any other soap. I just found out that the Bronner’s now makes conditioner, lotion and shaving soap. Whoo! Obviously, this is not sold in my town, so I ordered it from  http://www.drbronner.com/ !!! And it arrived in the mail in all it’s hairy-legged hippie rainbow-family loving glory!   Love it!

I used to adore Alexander McQueen. I loved him, I wanted to be him. When I was in high school, I had an entire wall dedicated to that man’s beautiful designs and runway shows. I dutifully ripped those out of W magazine, which came to me weekly in newspaper form. I poured over that dang fashion rag and he was my favorite. Now, when I see his name or image or disgusting Target fashion, I have to calm the inside of my brain. That dude committed suicide. I cannot appreciate that. Suicide has ruined lots of my favorite artists. Rothko, fuck off, also. The rest of us stuck it out. The rest of us are here. Take your stupid eyewear and wear them in your next pathetic lifetime, McQueen. Wash them with some delicious Dr. Bronner’s first, though! Kiss Kiss!

I made some wonderful strawberry jam last week from my father’s famous homegrown strawberries. It is so yum, I cannot wait to eat it this winter when it is 18 below zero. My father, Diamond Jon, made some delicious strawberry lemonade rum drinks out of the rest of his strawberries and washed it down with some delicious Miller Lite. Stay tuned, rumor has it that there will be some Diamond Jon Strawberry Wine made for this Florida/Winter Trip that tastes just like a fine, fine bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. uhh, yumm!

Finally, let’s talk about Vanilla. Use real vanilla people! I recommend this brand, because we carry it, where I work. Thanks! This is the end of the cooking advice… seriously, why would you buy imitation vanilla? You humans of this world are so weird… next thing you know you will invent some sort of fake plastic butter and name it some dumb name like margarine. Loo-hoo-sers!!

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