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This is real. Merlin was our waiter. At Pizza Hut. The ordeal lasted well over 2 hours. I expected more out of someone named Merlin.

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Chicken Nutget. REALLY? We had to get one. Turns out, they were just nuggets.

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This was in Florida, at a Dollar Tree Store. How could you EVER throw trash in that store? It is already full of trash! And only costs one dollar!

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One big ass mother fucking toe. Measures how much? 3 1/2 inches?? That is big!

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Traffic that will stay? Come on in! It is just a busted up bridge over a creek, pull over and shoot things!

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I love metal, so NO GENTLE!

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This should not make me laugh. I am SO sorry Dennis Wojtkiewicz. I have googled you. I cannot find one single picture of your fingers. Or even your hands. Your paintings are pretty amazing. I need answers. Click this for his amazing paintings:

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AND finally, my baby kitty, Simba. He is still kinda stupid but I love him. Even if he climbs the Christmas tree and costs me one million dollars at the vet. He is my baby boy kitty and I love him!

Sorry Dennis! HOT DOG FINGERS! That should not be so funny. But still, I am googling you OLD HOT DOG FINGERS!